Aug 28, 2011

The RSVP Not

The very first issue I need to tackle on my road to fulfilling my Diva Plan is a very sticky one.  As of late, I have been struggling with fulfilling my social obligations.  Simply said, I have been a no-show at several parties I've been invited to and the guilt of my current no show existence is not sitting well with the woman I want to be.  However, my no-show status never goes without the proper reasons.

For one, I am a single mother with a chronic illness who works a full-time job plus mandatory overtime.  Needless to say tired is my middle name.  Additionally, I own a home that never seems to be clean; therefore, something is always lacking on the home front (i.e. laundry, general cleaning, picking up the tree branches that have been in the yard since spring).  My daughter absolutely hates when I work on the weekend and desires to have all of my time from the time I get in from work Saturday afternoon until Sunday night.  I feel her on that issue. 

The bottom line is, I must find a solution to my no-show problem and since most of my values are old school, I researched the old school aficionado on manners, Miss Manners.

According to Miss Manners, specific excuses are not necessary when turning down an invitation, but it should be done promptly.  However, if the host requests an explanation, it should be honest as to not get caught up in a lie later.  She also says an invitation should not be considered as a summons and one should not feel guilty about declining.

Now, I do not want to totally banish my social life, but I have been considering ways to not immediately commit myself to showing my face at every event I'm invited to.  As a result, I've decided the following:

  • For verbal invitations, my cookie-cutter response will be, "I'll let you know by blah blah day." 
  • For written invitations, I will consult my Blackberry calendar (which is a great tool) and take a dose of honesty to determine if the event is something I can truly commit myself to before I officially RSVP. 
Well Divas, there you have it!  I'll keep you posted on this dilemma and tell you my score after the final exam has been taken!

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