Mar 29, 2012

It's Complicated

With all of the media hype about the lack of marriage and relationship choices for black women, is coming a lot of opportunity.  Opportunities for black women to find out where all of the relationship seeking black men are?  No!  Opportunities for men to attempt to teach us how to get and keep a man.  Some say we should think like a man, but act like a lady and some simply want to let us know how the mind of a man works so we can get one and keep him.  Some of the points made are interesting and worth consideration, but the problem I have with all of it is that it screams DESPERATION!  Furthermore, what about what we think and want?  What does a man need to do to get and keep us and does it still matter?  Well it does in my world.

I'm a decent woman.  I love God, my family and I love myself.  I'm not dependent.  I take care of myself and my child.  I care about other people.  I work hard.  I have dreams.  I have faults.  I can be a little mouthy.  I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect.

Now take notice, I didn't mention any of the traits that we often hear about when single black women are highlighted--educated, homeowner, career-driven.  I mentioned the ones that would matter to me in a relationship.  It's almost as if we are now being punished for forging ahead with our lives without a man.  Harriet Tubman did it so why not?  Some men are turned off by independent women because there's nothing left for them to flex about.  I don't care.  Find something.  Surprise me.

Personally, I don't think there is any advice out there that can help any man or woman find the right mate.  Okay, the basic stuff--take a bath, brush your teeth, etc.  I still believe in fate and I also believe that if you continue to present your authentic self, the right mate will come.  Stay up!  Muah!

Mar 10, 2012

Natural Hair?

For some reason today I became extra inquisitive about natural hair care, styles and products.  I started watching YouTube videos of transitions, styles and product reviews earlier this evening and it is now a new day and I just finished watching them. 

When I transitioned from relaxed to natural hair, I jumped right in with a big chop.  Having a close cut didn't bother me because I'd done it twice before.  Also, short hair works well with my face so I wasn't worried about how it would change my look and since the big chop, I really haven't put much thought into my hair.  I've continued to get it cut and faded on a not so regular basis.  Recently, I've been thinking about letting it grow.  For real this time!  Every time I consider growing my hair out, I end up taking the convenient route by getting it cut again.  There's nothing wrong with wearing a twa (teeny weeny afro), but consider this, I'm a woman and women change hairstyles like we change shoes, handbags and earrings.  Feeling the need to do something new, I decided to do a search for twist outs and my search is what resulted in me watching dozens of YouTube videos today.

Along with enjoying the videos, which I must say were made by truly natural beauties, I also paid close attention to the products they were using.  I was completely overwhelmed (in a good way) to see the progress they made with regards to styling and hair growth.  Now I'm on the bandwagon.  It's time for a grow out.

Here are the products I'm currently using/trying:
  • Miss Jessie's Super Slip Sudsy Shampoo
  • Miss Jessie's Sweetback Deep Conditioning Treatment
  • Miss Jessie's Baby Buttercreme
  • Hollywood Beauty Argon Oil (I just started using this.)
  • Jamaican Mango and Lime Cactus Gro (I just started using this.)
Here are the products that come highly recommended from the YouTube videos:
  • Eco Styler Gel
  • Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition 3-Minute Undo
  • Jamaican Mango and Lime Lock Twist Gel
  • Giovanni Direct Leave-in Conditioner (most users recommend adding oil to the product)
  • Suave Coconut Cleansing Conditioner (WOW!)
  • Cush Cosmetics curly hair products
Many products were reviewed, but these are on my hit list because they had so many fabulous reviews.  Funny thing though, you see how I totally bought into the Miss Jessie's phenomenon and I considered others before buying Miss Jessie's, such as Kinky Curly and Shea Moisture), but the well known and well marketed products had the worse reviews.  However, I do get a lot of compliments and questions about my hair when I use Miss Jessie's Baby Buttercreme. 

As I continue through my natural hair journey, I'm will definitely try some of the recommended products and I will do more posts about my discoveries.  In the meantime, if you've used any of these products or can put me up on other products for natural hair, it will be very much appreciated.  Until then, stay up.