Mar 29, 2012

It's Complicated

With all of the media hype about the lack of marriage and relationship choices for black women, is coming a lot of opportunity.  Opportunities for black women to find out where all of the relationship seeking black men are?  No!  Opportunities for men to attempt to teach us how to get and keep a man.  Some say we should think like a man, but act like a lady and some simply want to let us know how the mind of a man works so we can get one and keep him.  Some of the points made are interesting and worth consideration, but the problem I have with all of it is that it screams DESPERATION!  Furthermore, what about what we think and want?  What does a man need to do to get and keep us and does it still matter?  Well it does in my world.

I'm a decent woman.  I love God, my family and I love myself.  I'm not dependent.  I take care of myself and my child.  I care about other people.  I work hard.  I have dreams.  I have faults.  I can be a little mouthy.  I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect.

Now take notice, I didn't mention any of the traits that we often hear about when single black women are highlighted--educated, homeowner, career-driven.  I mentioned the ones that would matter to me in a relationship.  It's almost as if we are now being punished for forging ahead with our lives without a man.  Harriet Tubman did it so why not?  Some men are turned off by independent women because there's nothing left for them to flex about.  I don't care.  Find something.  Surprise me.

Personally, I don't think there is any advice out there that can help any man or woman find the right mate.  Okay, the basic stuff--take a bath, brush your teeth, etc.  I still believe in fate and I also believe that if you continue to present your authentic self, the right mate will come.  Stay up!  Muah!
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