Jun 5, 2016

Dating Over 40 is...

Discussing dating with other single women over 40 is like asking a group of women how to make a roast.  Each of us have our own way.  Some of us put it in the slow cooker and let it cook for hours so the meat can be tender and the flavors can have time to mingle.  Some of us put our roast in the oven with plenty of seasonings and vegetables and in just a few hours we have a complete meal.  Yet others, will first braise the roast to quickly brown the outer portion and then proceed to let it fully cook.  Each of us has our own way that works for us and makes us feel satisfied about what we're doing.  Did I just compare making a roast to dating?  Yeah I did.

By the time we reach 40, both women and men are pretty set in our ways.  We have a certain way we like to do things and because our way has worked for us for so long, we prefer to stick to that and no one can tell us any different.  I believe this to be so because by the time we reach this stage in life, we've experienced and overcome almost every human emotion possible.  We feel strong and sure about who we are because of our life experiences, but there's one thing that can turn our worlds' upside down and make us rethink life altogether..  That one thing is love and yes love or even the possibility thereof can do exactly that.  Except....after 40, we aren't willing to make any changes until we know for certain we're making a sure bet.  After all, most 40+ singles aren't trying to play the fool...again.

The absolutely great thing about dating in our 40's is that by this time, most of us have reached our confidence pinnacle.  We know who we are and make no apologies for it and we send our true selves on dates instead of our representatives.  To be clear, after 40 dating becomes a take or leave it type of situation.  No hard feelings.  No time wasted.  In the rare instance you are a 40+ single who doesn't feel comfortable dating, my advice would be to be poised, listen and pay attention to your suitor and try to have a great time regardless of the situation.  I mean unless it's just the worst.  Oh and smile a lot!

For me, dating in my 40's has had its high and low points.  I've met men who tried to promise me the world before the first date and had I been in my 20's or even my 30's, I would've fallen for the bait, but in my 40's talking about money and what you can do for me doesn't impress me AT ALL.  I mean did he not notice that everything he promised I'd already done, accomplished and had?  But I've also met some really balanced and chivalrous men who I vibe with really well.


The most common theme in conversations I have with other single women my age is that what we want most is to be happy and enjoy life.  So no matter how we cook our roast, if the end result isn't well done and savory, then we aren't interested.  The roast will not be served!  As for me, right now I'm braising and loving it.  Damn it feels good to be a grown woman!